Review: Tata Towel knockoff

I know. I can't believe I actually tried this, either. In a whimsical moment of late night Amazoning, I thought Huh....well, maybe this might be comfy...? Also, did I mention ganja is legal in my state. Hah. Kidding. Well, I mean, it is, but I can't blame this poor consumer choice on that. 

So. I tried it, so you don't have to. You're welcome.

There are many knock-offs of the Tata Towel and after reading reviews extensively, and examining many pics, there seems to be no real difference in construction or material quality, so I went with a knock-off that had equally high ratings. 

And let me just summarize right now: this thing is a ridiculous idea.

Beauty

 

Hahaha! Psych! Totally not a category this time. 

So, the basic idea here was to solve the 'problem' of boob sweat while you blowdry your hair. Not. Even. Kidding. Let me count the ways this is super silly:

1)  It's way too cold here for this to be a problem. People generally huddle into their hairdryers for heat here.

2)   I don't actually blowdry my long curly hair. Nope. I wash it at night and give it the 4+ hours it needs to dry into nice happy spirals.

3)  If this is a 'solution' to that 'problem' then WTF is the fabric so overwhelmingly thick and heavy?!

Construction

in which the news is mostly all bad...

Fabric.   One side is a heavy cotton toweling. That's this side:

The other side is that deeply Joan Collins-y leopard microfiber. And together they equal: a super-duper level of bulky. 

'Cups'.  Elastic runs around the edges of the whole thing, so it forms a literal boob sling. There is actually plenty of room and it technically goes up to H+. In the side view, you can see the vast bulk of the thing, and how it kind of wraps to each boob. It does stay put fairly well.

Fatal Flaw

Neck strap.  Now of course, by the nature of the design, your neck is going to carry the full weight of your boobs, as there is zero band. With that in mind, you'd assume that the neck portion would be padded, or at least more substantial. And....you would be wrong. It is a thin 2" piece of the same fabric and -wait for it- there is an adjustor (think: the oblong plastic thingie that tightens the drawstring waist of a parka) sitting right at the center of your neck. Wait for it #2: against your skin. I mean, did the maker of this thing ever have a basic high school physics class? Take 5-10 lbs of weight, put it on top of a hard plastic thingie, then hang it all off a vertebra in the neck. Genius! Not.

When Would Any Sane Person Wear This Thing?

I can't imagine. I saw several reviews where people wore it under pj's to lounge in. Yeahhh. No. It would have to be a huge tent of a sleep T that would fit over this apparatus, and even then your boobs would look exactly like a toddler in old school cloth diapers and plastic pants - the original recipe for 'bulky'.

And if you're in a hot, humid place like say, Florida, where using a hairdryer probably would make you start to sweat, then this huge, bulky, non-breathable contraption on your boobs would hardly be a great solution. You'd be far better off tucking a soft bra liner under them and carrying on. Especially if you have neck or back pain, this thing is a complete no-go.

If it was a better design: thin modal fabric, with a padded neck strap -& lose that silly fastener; it's pointless- this thing could conceivably be useful to some, likely those on the smaller end of the big boob spectrum, say, 32E - 36DD or so.

Sizing.  It's basically M-XXL and I chose XL, which had plenty of room for my 38GG boobs.