How Should Bras Fit?

There is a lot of info out there on 'proper' bra fit, and a couple of different schools of thought. But there is general consensus on a few points: bands should be snug, cups fully encasing the boobs, not too much weight on the straps. From there, opinions diverge: high vs. low wires, wide-set vs. close-in straps, tacking of gores, Euro vs. UK vs. US cup shapes.

My opinion is: if it's not comfortable, then it is not 'proper' fit. Even if it looks perfect and meets all fit criteria. Yes, I know this is a minority opinion. 

The purpose of bras -and beliefs about the way they should fit- has changed over the decades. And centuries. But, with the exception of the 1950s, bras were mainly meant to make women more comfortable. And that didn't always mean support, so much as protection from rougher fabrics and a little bounce/flop reduction. Let's take a short walk through the last century to see what I mean.

I remember my grandmother talking about what bras were like in the 1920s, when she was a young woman, and probably around a 34B/32C. They were like a loose bralette-cami, and served more as a liner under a dress, to protect the skin and give you a smoother look; "lift" or separation was definitely not a goal. Something like this would be what she would have chosen to wear under a dress:

For a little more support, she described a crop-top style that she would wear if she was going to be more active, such as dancing or a lot of walking:

nowthatslingerie.com

Cue the '40s and onward and Nana embraced the 'cross-your-heart' style and pretty much wore it for the last half-century of her life, into the mid-1980s. 

Though I very much doubt she would have worn any color but white: too racy, plus she was of the generation that believed Clorox could kill all the ills of the world. And I'm fairly certain she never wore an underwire in her whole long life. She probably considered it a pointless invention, like the cordless phone. Bras were simply not much of an issue for her, at her time in history: all she expected was a slight amount of support and separation; lift and shape were simply not a priority as we view it today, when clothing itself provided the shape and involved non-stretch heavier fabrics, shaped with princess seams or darts.

Next, cue the 1970s. My mother, around a 36DD (we see bust sizes begin to increase generationally at this point) absolutely loved the minimalist, seamless, sheer, front-hook styles of that era. I never saw her wear anything else until the late-80s. Every single bra my conservative-with-4-kids mom wore looked very much like the current Gossard Glossies bra, and that's what my friends' moms all wore, too:

Nobody cared about nipple show-through during that time (that freak-out would begin in the '80s) and everybody was just happy about the sheer lightweight nature of bras. T-shirt and foam bras weren't a thing yet. And still, nobody cared much about lift. I wore these styles from ages 13-16 when I was a 34D and they were pretty comfy. 

In the '80s things shifted, with push-up coming onto the scene and more padding, but the styles were still similar to the above, but in thicker, opaque silky nylon; but still seamless, with very centered straps. Nana switched to the lace-edged, triangle soft cup style, still with the front-hooks; there were a plethora of these in the '80s:

Alibabaexpress

By the '90s, Victoria's Secret was on the scene and the foam dome culture shift was in full swing. Here is when I started to find bra shopping torturous and was no longer able to find a comfy fit for my full-on-top 36G's. I did what most women that size do: try to make a 38D work, because it's in the matrix of what is available and with firm, young boobs the size mismatch isn't as apparent. I had a lot of bras like this into the late-90s:

And I even had one of the old Body by Victoria styles that was very comfy: lined in super-thin foam, including the wires, with laser-cut band. It didn't fit especially well in a 38DD but it was so comfy I wore it for years - even through 20-lb weight fluctuations. Looking at old photos of me in the bra, I'm surprised that it looks as good as it does under clothing. Like here, a dozen years and 40 lbs ago. 

I didn't yet care about bras. Why? Because I was not uncomfortable. Yet. When I finally had to toss out that old VS bra because the elastic was literally shot, I was living on the edge of the wilderness and very quickly realized I was in bra purgatory. And so began my now decade-long obsession with finding comfy bras that fit. By my definition. I'll go off about that more later.

After feeling pretty much alone in caring far more about comfort than the (pretty historically recent view of) fit, it is really gratifying to see what an article in a UK paper referred to as a 'revolt against VS' in favor of 'athleisure' i.e. bralettes. It is literally a return to the '70s in terms of prioritizing comfort above firm support - and then some. The current movement is bringing along the beauty, too. And I'm here for it!

Things are moving away from this kind of rigid, encased containment:

Panache

And a lot more in this direction:

Cosabella

As this list shows: Bralettes That Actually Work For Busty Women

However. I have seen a lot of near (and not-so-near) misses in terms of executing the comfort part in large cup sizes. There are some truly great options -as there have always been- for bras & bralettes for the 32A-36C crowd. But I really welcome the support for embracing our natural shapes (heh, see what I did there) and insisting bras are for our comfort, not our containment. 

Bottom line: If it is not comfy, then that simply is not proper fit. And perhaps it's our definition of 'fit' that needs to change. It really doesn't matter if your side-boob is not fully encased in a tall harsh wire, if it's not comfy; that is not proper fit for you. If a tight band hoists your boobs an inch higher, but doesn't feel good cutting into your flesh - again, that's not proper fit, regardless of what the tape measure says, or what current ideas on proper fit may be. Feel free to rebel and define what fit means to you. Decide what you want your bra to do for you: gentle support, bounce control, total separation, barely there softness? They're all valid goals and you get to choose which is important to you.