Sunday, September 24, 2017

Review: Hanky Panky Organic Cotton Crop Top 

I tried this in black, but it's much easier to see the details in white. Which is why I didn't bother to take any photos of how it looked on me before I returned it.

Nutshell: Very disappointing.

I opted for the crop top style over the other bralette designs by the brand as it came in extended sizes and the construction was more likely to work for larger busts. Theoretically.

Beauty: The lace pattern is quite pretty and saves it from being completely plain. 

Comfort:  Nope. The lace is scratchy, not soft in any way. Which is outrageous, considering the price point of $50. The organic cotton is also pretty underwhelming. It is far less soft than the $15  Leading Lady Cami Bralette, which is a superior choice in every way: comfort, support, & price.

Fit:  Very little in the way of anchorage in that inadequate thin band with the scratchy lace hanging limply below it. The straps are the worst part of the design. They are flimsy and ultra-stretchy. They literally provide less-than-zero support. If your boobs are bigger than an A-cup, they will simply drag them down like grapefruits suspended from dental floss. Wait. That would actually offer more support than these straps, because it is not stretchy. 

Who Might This Work For?
Literally, A-cups with skin as non-sensitive as the hide of a rhinoceros. 

Size: 1x

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Review: Maurice bralettes

Maurice is a store brand I had never heard of. They seem to be more common in the Eastern side of the country and the price point is $16, so, not much to lose. Anyhoo, I came across a review online and decided to give them a try. Since I now have a half dozen wired bra brands I am happy with, I am turning my obsession with comfy support to finding bralettes with those characteristics. 

About that whole bralette thing: I'm surprised at myself, but I kinda like this whole anti-support movement. I suppose because it is really gratifying to see women demand comfort, in direct opposition to the fitting philosophies of Victoria's Secret foam domes or the Panache-y rigid lockdown support. Of course, I think we deserve both: comfort and support. But yeah, I know: good luck with that, right?

So, here we go. Spoiler Alert: Fail.

I tried two different styles, both vastly different in fit, but mostly similar in their suckage quotient. Helpfully, they don't seem to have names other than 'Floral Lace Bralette'. Both are made of cheap, non-soft lace. As you would expect.

This style has thin, bouncy straps and far less cup capacity than the other. 

Which you can see here:

It's basically only covering 3/4 of my boob and flattening it in the front.

The cups are an odd mix of too stretchy at the bottom and inflexible on the top, with a rigid strip along the side. 

Culminating in a boob pressed against a window shape.

And, to top it all off, here is the dreaded metal ring connector, conveniently located on the top of my shoulder bones.

I actually feel the urge to slap the idiot responsible for the whole concept of that stupid connector. 

Not that I take it personally or anything.

 Next up is this slightly better-designed T-back style:

 Plenty of cup capacity; it's actually more like a crop top. 

The straps are super stretchy, so offer no support.

But they do have this interesting racer-back design. And if they had used that broad lace section of lower strap as the actual shoulder strap, it would have been a real improvement for comfort and support.  

(An aside: this gives a good idea of how broad my shoulders are, so when I mention straps are too wide-set, it's a good indication that they are ridiculously wide-set.)

Here we come to the main problem: the 'band' is incredibly loose. 

It is nothing more than a flimsy, single strip of lace.

My boobs literally would be able to fall through the bottom. 

(My first thought was Ms. Choksondik of South Park, 'cuz who doesn't want that look?)  
Image result for Ms. Chokesondick of South Park

 Who Might These Work For?

Those without sensitive skin, who just want something cheap & pretty, with zero support. If you are on the smaller end of the cup size range, or alternatively, if you need a large band size, and smaller cups, say 44B, the crop top style could actually be a good solution for you.

Sizing: XL